Pity Party Fashion...

     Let me just be brutally honest about the shallowness of my soul at times. The other day I was having a serious fashion feel sorry for myself party…sorry you weren’t invited! After all, about 6 months before graduating from Fuller I partook of a Cam and Cate Wardrobe edit (think “What Not to Wear”) that I’d won at an anti-sex trafficking auction.

     Why talk about this? Because as most of you know I am a new Mom…and not just a new Mom, but a new Mom with a severely sprained ankle who has been house bound for nearly 3 months. You can imagine my wardrobe…work out pants (the ones you don’t mind getting pee all over), old t-shirts (or should I call them drool bibs), an ugly black boot for the injured foot complimented by a boring tennis shoe for the good foot. 

     As I lay there with my pity party hat on, tooting my feeling blue horn, God graced the party with His presence. Have you ever noticed that rarely can you stay in a posture of pity when you belong to God? I incredibly appreciate that the Lord is quick to speak to my sinfulness and give me a glorious new perspective that allows me to move out of a negative place. 

     What is also so beautiful is when He takes a verse of Scripture that you know well, and gives it fresh meaning for the current situation. This is just what He did with Colossians 3:12…

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, 

holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with

 compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

I began to imagine how beautiful I would look if I took seriously the invitation to awake daily and pray myself into the Col 3:12 wardrobe. Even the drooliest of drool shirts would compliment it well! 

     As I meditated on this verse, God refocused my perspective. Someday I will be out of bed and on my feet. And months from now, when Elizabeth is no longer drooling, I may even be able to wear some of those fashionable clothes. But now…right now…I can dress my heart in a way that shapes me internally and therefore externally. 

     So, I am committing to being a woman who clothes herself in a Colossians 3:12 wardrobe because it honors God. But also because I am a Mom now. I want Elizabeth to grow up and dress just like me…and Col 3:12 will ensure that she is always beautifully in style!

If You'd Have Just Been There...

“When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” ~ John 11:32

In John 11, we read the story of Lazarus. It is one I return to when the only words I can seem to muster in prayer are “Lord, if you had only been there”. Have you ever felt that way? Emotions are raw, feelings seem overwhelming and Jesus seems to be….nowhere near.

I think the hardest part of the story for me is that Mary and Martha really counted on Jesus’ feelings for and close relationship with their brother to compel Him to action… “So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick”. Yet, Jesus did not come near when He got word.

As I’ve thought and prayed for Bailey and her tremendous loss and grief in being separated from her birth child, Elizabeth, or Katie and the sorrow she endures having a second parent diagnosed with cancer, or the many of you who have written me telling of burdens that feel completely overbearing, I’ve wondered… “Lord, when will you really come near?” I pray for peace, for strength, for courage, for joy, for hope…and apparently nothing changes. Sometimes it can be incredibly discouraging and even frustrating. It is difficult when God seems to wait.

I can visualize Mary and Martha praying and waiting, praying and waiting…and waiting…and waiting. We are no different then these women of God. Every day we are confronted with the reality of praying, and waiting, and wondering, “when will Jesus come near?” We know He answers prayer, and that He promises that He is with us always. We know that the truth is that He loves us and has a good plan for our lives. Knowing these truths, I believe I am left with this challenge and ultimate invitation from the Lord; to whole heartedly trust Him and His timing even when it does not make sense. I can only imagine that when Lazarus died, Mary and Martha wondered about Jesus’ timing!

Know this…I do not wonder hypothetically. I currently reside in a very difficult season of life. I hold a precious little girl in my arms every day that someone is fighting to take away. I have to go to court appearance after court appearance and pay an excessive amount of money to wage a battle that seems completely unjust. Yet I know I am not alone. I know most of you can understand. So, what is your difficult season? What are you praying about and feeling as if you are waiting, and waiting, and waiting…?

During my difficult season of waiting, I have learned to trust the God who comes near…according to His perfect timing. He has answered prayer and shown up just when He would receive the most glory. Just when He knew I would be able to recognize and celebrate that it was Him, despite all of the chaos going on around me. It has been truly faith building for me, as well as others who are walking this difficult road with me.

So like Mary and Martha I need to feel the freedom to say, “Lord this one (me) whom you love is (hurting, discouraged, living in hopelessness, feeling alone, struggling with depression, feeling betrayed, struggling within a relationship…” and trust that He will come near…according to when He will receive the most glory. Imagine the difference and diminished power within the Lazarus story if Jesus had arrived quickly, healed him of his fever and moved on!

Our earthly life stories are beautifully woven together by the God of Heaven Who knows us by name and has every hair on our heads numbered. He may not choose to answer, in a way we understand, the moment our prayer is uttered. However, that does not mean that He is not working or that He is not near. He is waiting for us to trust…to trust that He will act in a way that will show Him to be the God who we need to understand more deeply and the God who uses our lives and difficult circumstances to bring Him glory.

Our God knows that we will struggle to live in “If You had only been here…”. Today, let’s choose to believe that when we send for Him through our heart felt prayers, that He not only hears us, but that He can be trusted to work in and for us so that our lives are a glorious testimony of His perfect will in the lives of “the ones whom He loves”.  

Sitting Beside Death...

She was beautiful, wealthy, famous, talented...all those things that make this life seem so incredible. She had everything she could have wanted...men, glamor, possessions...or did she? 

Death has a way of opening up our souls to what matters. It is the presence not often spoken of...yet ever present in our lives...waiting....

The deathbed is a place where few want to be alone. There is a great human desire to be surrounded by those closest to us, speaking reassuring words of love and fond memories. For Elizabeth, her final moments were spent like any other who is looking to pass from this life to the next...surrounded by family and friends. 

So what makes her passing worth mentioning, besides the fact that she holds an iconic place in history as a celebrity goddess? It is her own words, spoken in her final days that should capture our attention. Days before she passed she spoke to a close friend and expressed her fears about facing the end of her life. She wondered how to pass onto the next life. 

Death can be scary for anyone...and sometimes I think we forget to think about the fact that death is real...and inevitable.

So in those final moments, what do you give someone who has everything...talent, possessions, money, fame? I would offer them peace. I don’t know how else to extend peace to someone without offering them Jesus. 

If I would have been able to sit at her bedside in those final moments, I would have gently and humbly offered her the answer for her searching question. I would have spoken truth and peace over her fears, and the comforting words of reassurance that there is a Person that carries us from this life to the next life....

As you think about your life...however old you are...do you have this peace? Are you ready for death to look you in the face, or sit closely beside those you love...and not wonder how to pass from this life to the next? Do you have the answers that bring peace, comfort, and that dispel fear?

My prayer is that you know Jesus as the One who laid down His life for you...not just as a man on a cross or an idea to talk about. And I hope that you have the compassion to sit beside those who have death sitting on their other side. 

Everyone you meet is someone who will meet death...and Jesus. May we introduce them to Jesus first!

Things to ponder...

1. Do I know 100% that I have a relationship with Jesus that gives me a life worth living here and offers hope for the life to come?
2. If I do know Jesus, am I willing to pray consistently for several people who I know do not know Jesus?
3. Will I pray that God would give me some great opportunities to talk about my own relationship with Him so that others can see that He is real?
4. Am I willing to pray that God will use me to share the truth about Jesus being the One who gives us a life worth living on earth and the One who will greet us with great arms of love in the life to come?

If you are questioning your relationship with Jesus, will you please write me and let me know how I can journey with you through your questions. God is not afraid of our questions and confusion. He welcomes us into His presence to work things out and hash through the really tough stuff! He loves you...<3

Hiding from my past...

If they really knew me they wouldn’t like me...

How many times have I thought that to myself...too many to count I’m sorry to admit. Over the years I’ve often wondered, “if people really knew all of me would they still like me?” 

I am inspired by people who don’t seem to mind what others think about them. It is especially encouraging to watch someone transform from being dishonest about who they are to being genuine and raw. I think vulnerability with those God calls us to impact is necessary...and exciting....even if it does make me a tad bit nervous!!

I know of an amazing woman whose encounter with Jesus gave her the ability to be genuine for the first time. In reading her story I was inspired by her willingness to be vulnerable and real...for the work of the Kingdom.

Who is she....? She’s the woman at the well in John 4. The one we know the story about oh so well. Sometimes when I know a story well I try to see it from a different angle. Her story has an edge that I had not seen before. I hope maybe a fresh peek into her transformation will encourage you on your journey toward embracing your story, being genuine, and letting God use you for His Kingdom work.

It all begins with her encounter with Jesus right? We clearly see she is not honest. When He asks her to go call her husband she says, “I don’t have a husband”...really..end of story? oh no...she chooses to omit a fairly important part of the answer... “but I am shacking up with a guy”. Jesus so calls her out on it doesn’t He? We know Jesus...He wasn’t cruel or demeaning, but He certainly was all about getting the truth right out in the open! He knew she could not experience true freedom while hiding behind that half truth.

So how do we know that her encounter with Him made any difference? It’s one of the main reasons I admire this woman; she is willing to tell her story....and it’s not a pretty one. Think about it, she leaves her water jar and goes into the village and starts announcing, “come see a man who told me everything I’ve ever done.” Really? Everything? Apparently so! I’m sure those villagers knew or had a fairly good idea about just how “immoral” this woman was. They would have seen the men coming and going. Yet somehow she wasn’t afraid to talk about her past. Somehow she knew that entrusting herself to the community who had known her only from a distance would help others see Jesus.

But it doesn’t just stop there. Her vulnerability and willingness to be real allowed Jesus to speak into the lives of many of those villagers. What does the text say? After they believed what the woman shared, the Samaritans came to Jesus and asked Him to hang with them for a few days. Then, the people shared that they didn’t just believe because of what the woman had said, but because of what Jesus had said. 

So, let’s not get hung up on covering up our failures. Let’s not worry so much about people not liking us because we are not perfect. The next time you are concerned that your mess ups will ruin any chances of being used for God’s Kingdom...remember this powerful story. He takes it all...even the vilest sins we commit...and makes them a part of His beautiful story of forgiveness and restoration. The people in her community listened to her initially because she was willing to embrace her sordid story...and be genuine. Through her act of vulnerability she peaked other people’s interest in Jesus. She opened the door for Him to speak!

You are beautifully broken...and oh so usable by the shepherd of your soul. He is the potter and you are His clay. You are likable...lovable...on every step of your transformational journey with Jesus.

Make it personal:

• What part of your past do you hide from?
• What are you afraid to face or take an honest look at?
• Do you honestly believe that your past mistakes keep you from being used by God?
• Are you willing to find some friends and be real about your struggles?
• Will you start to believe and have hope for the wondrous future God has in store for you?

One Thought Method...

I learned something so helpful in one of my classes. If you're like me, sometimes I feel "so busy" that having a time with God gets pushed aside. I learned the One Thought Method and it has been fabulous for helping me be consistent. I have also learned a lot b/c you don't have to DO a lot and you get to share with someone else what you learned and that helps what you've learned stick with you!! Check out my sample journal entry.

1st you pray that God would give you ONE thought about what you read (pick a paragraph) My teacher suggested starting with the book of Philippians.

2nd you read the paragraph until you hear God give you one thought about it.

3rd you write out a prayer off of that thought.

So here was mine for today!

Php 1:1 - Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus (that is as far as I got and God gave me my thought!!)

Thought: Are you really a servant? Remember what David Jeremiah said yesterday, "'You will know if you are truly a servant by the way you react when someone treats you like one.' How do you react, Evie?"

Prayer: Father - I am not the kind of servant that Timothy was. I am so much more comfortable being in charge and giving orders. I know I have been willing to serve, but somehow I feel like my serving is not because I myself am walking in a posture of a servant. I need You to transform my heart and create in me an attitude of a true servant. Show me what it looks like. Convict me when I serve out of a desire to be recognized or seen as a good Christian servant. Continue to form my character so I am truly Your servant, an empty vessel useful for Your perfect plan.

If this helps just ONE of you in your time with God it will bring such joy to my heart! I love you all and so want to see each one of us become the women that God has created us to be! <3

If you try this, let me know what one of your journal entries looked like!

Happy New Year...

            Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead ~ Php 3:13

As we head into 2011, I want to encourage you oh beautiful masterpiece of God. So often when we look back over the previous year we have regrets. I’ll admit, there are definitely things I would do differently if given the opportunity. In those moments when I feel the *sigh* deep within, God reminds me of a few simple, yet beautiful truths. I hope that you will embrace these truths and allow them to encourage your heart.

He was not caught off guard by your choices in 2010! Ps 139:16 - “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

You are already forgiven – Acts 10:43 – “All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.”

His love for you is constant and unshakable! - Ro 8:38-39 -“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

You are wonderfully in process - Php 1:6 – “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” God began something good within you and He has promised to finish it!

He has an amazing plan for your future – My ministry foundation is built on this very important truth…You are God’s masterpiece. Eph 2:10 – “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Beautiful one, your future is something to continually look forward to. You don’t need to let regrets overwhelm or discourage you. When you look back, you should not feel the weight of needless shame. You are not defined by your behaviors; you are defined by whose you are. We are the beloved children of God…His beautiful masterpieces. This year, may you look with hope to the future and hold tightly to the truth that you belong to the One who firmly holds you in the palm of His hand as you journey into the New Year.