Grief and Truth: Mother's Day

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. It is a day of celebration. Mostly.

There was a moment in 1989 that changed the course of my life. Doctors informed me that the loss of my ovaries meant that I would be unable to have children. At 19 I did not fully grasp the ramifications of those words.

Fast forward to the end of 1993. I met and eventually fell in love with an amazing man of God. Suddenly, that fateful moment in 1989 collided with the present moment.

Sam loves the Lord with his entire being. As a teenager he committed his life to the ministry. He waited and prayed for God to send him a woman who shared his passion for Jesus, as well as a desire for a life in ministry. He found that in me. Yet somehow...I felt unworthy and flawed.

Questions flooded my mind. What plagued me most; wonderment at Sam’s capacity to accept my inability to bear him children of his own. He loved children. I knew he held the honored position of favorite uncle.

After many discussions, Sam at 22 and me at 27, determined to make several covenants between ourselves and the Lord. We agreed that God had His hand on our lives for a specific and unique purpose. We felt a calling to unite and make an eternal difference in people’s lives. In faith, we agreed to accept my infertility. Sam committed to never hold it against me. And finally, we covenanted to trust the Lord with our hearts and any future grief.

I found it easier to celebrate Mother’s Day as a younger woman. Most in my circle of friends still had Moms to celebrate and had not yet started their own families. Somehow I still fit within a perceived societal norm.

As the years passed, and married friends began their families, my grief activated. I also began to feel silently guilty for being unable to give Sam a family of his own. 

Once a day of celebration, Mother’s Day embarked on its descent toward 

the dreaded day of humiliation.

As the humiliation and shame flooded my soul, two choices arose. I could either embrace my grief and believe the truth, or be miserable. As odd as it sounds to make a choice toward misery, it is actually the easier choice. I knew this because misery had been my companion over the years. With misery by my side, I believed I could harden my heart, protect myself from future pain, and avoid dealing with uncomfortable feelings and people. And most importantly, it allowed me to bypass dealing honestly with my beliefs about God’s goodness.

I made the difficult choice. I chose to embrace my grief. To feel it. To sit with it. 

And, I began my journey toward the truth.

It is difficult to intermingle grief and truth. Truth involves selflessness. I hugged and laughed with friends announcing pregnancies while simultaneously sitting with my sadness. I lavishly celebrated at baby showers while feeling the sting of isolation and pain. I willingly accepted the invitation to place my hand on a friends belly, while feeling the emptiness of my own womb. I expressed my heartfelt “Happy Mother’s Day” to Moms at church, while feeling conspicuously passed over as they all stood to be honored with flowers.

It is anticipated and even the norm for women to bear their own children and become Moms. Really, it is almost expected. As the proverbial biological clock ticks we often hear people counting down the minutes on our behalf. After all, God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). God speaks highly of the family. After all, He did institute it, right?

But please hear me. As infertile women, we are not flawed. We are not lacking. We are not less than. There is no clock ticking in the universe that will time out and somehow prove to us that we have missed our most significant calling. And our families, if instituted through adoption, foster care, or any other unconventional means, are not inferior.

As we sit in that space of embracing life as it is, may we dive deeply into this truth. As women, we share something profoundly more valuable in common. We are all children of God (Galatians 3:26). He made every one of us amazing women in His image (Genesis 1:27). He has a daily plan for our lives (Psalm 139:16).

Dearest woman of God; believe the truth. We have purpose for being here whether or not we ever have children. “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10). Notice what it does not say; as Moms you will do this or accomplish that. No, no. A thousand times no.

As a masterpiece, you have been uniquely created with the talent, personality and gifts necessary to do something profound in this world. Whatever. That. Is. You are His daughter. He delights in you.

Do not let the culture dictate your truth or this world influence how you view yourself. God has conferred a value on you that cannot be shaken, stolen, or altered. You are His masterpiece! And it is this truth, that in my infertility, has kept me journeying toward God and not hiding in shame.

I chose to embrace my life as an infertile woman and live into the purposes and plans of God for me. Whatever. They. Might. Be. And during that 16 year season of learning to embody grief, selflessness, and the truth of my worth, God used me to do significant and lasting things in this world. Yes, He is good.

For further reflection see the post entitled The Jesus Room.

Choosing to Flourish...

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11, an often used Scriptural encouragement, is only relevant and meaningful if you read and grapple with the context of this promise. This encouraging promise was written for a people struggling within a season of suffering...hardship...a time of displacement and uncertainty. God's people were living in captivity; a place difficult to call "home". 

God told the children of Israel that it would be 70 years...yes seventy years, before He would, in essence, rescue them out of captivity and bring them back to their true place of residence. Ugh…what a long season. Yet in the midst of their captivity, God invited them to flourish. He instructed them to eat from their gardens, marry, build homes, have children and grandchildren, and to pray for their community. During their season of waiting...during this time of sitting within hardship...He invited them to keep living...to participate in things that are life giving. He knew that this was only possible if they prepared their hearts to settle in...to stay. 

We often miss the wonder of today's pain because our focus is on anticipated future release. While we long for dancing...we forget that the sweet and jubilant steps of dancing are birthed after a season of mourning. Yet in His faithfulness, God reminds us of what it is to thrive through each moment. 

There is a significant difference between "making the best of it" and "flourishing". Making the best of it tends to have negative connotations; as if one must endure almost needlessly. Flourishing infuses purpose within waiting and difficulty. It breaths life over difficulty as it invites us to bloom where we are planted and become beautiful amidst the trials we face.

While we sit in these hard places, we can choose to hold our hands open wide in sweet release and focus our thoughts on the God who understands our pain…the One who is acquainted with suffering…the One who Himself wished for things to be different. As we listen to His words, as recorded in Mark 14:36, may we find strength in similar verbiage. “Abba, Father,” He cried out, “everything is possible for You. Please take this cup of suffering away from Me. Yet I want Your will to be done, not Mine.” 

Beautiful Masterpieces…Choose life. Bloom where you’re planted. It’s not just about surviving…it’s about thriving! It’s about fiercely flourishing!! And we can choose it!

The Jesus Room...

When you follow Jesus...really follow Him, you realize that your life is not truly your own. You can't possibly read verses like "If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for My sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it" (Mark 8:35), or "Then He said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be My follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow Me" (Luke 9:23) and think that being a genuine lover of Jesus means living a comfortable or easy life. Following Jesus is a radical decision that provides life altering outcomes.

I don't remember how I met her. I just know that God brings people into my life when they need Him. She was young, well dressed, and smelled of sweet perfume. According to the world's standards she was beautiful. Yet as she talked, so much more of the depth of her began to emerge. I could see it in her eyes; the hollow look of an empty soul longing for someone...something to fill it.

Her story was like many others I'd heard. She was married, had a child, and was desperately unhappy. Her husband had an anger problem...and his hands on her body would often become the means to which he released the destructive fire that raged in his soul. She lived fearful...and wounded...scarred by the emotional verbiage that accompanied the physical blows. The only questions for which she desperately needed answers involved where she would go and what would she do next?

It would have been easy to listen sympathetically, tell her how much God loved her, cared about her struggle, and would provide for her; because all of those things are very true. It would have made perfect sense to pray for her, hug her, and let her know that I'd continue trusting in our great God to "work all things together for the good in her life" (Romans 8:28). And it would have been easy and made complete sense to give her the number for the local shelter. After all, there is normally at least one shelter in any given town.

But... I can't embrace that way of living. It seems too easy. It feels like a life meticulously  crafted...crafted to keep me insulated from uncomfortably engaging the pain and hardship of others. It seems so contrary to Mark 8:35 and Luke 9:23. And it really seems to fly in the face of 1 Thessalonians 2:8, "We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too." Share my life...what does that mean?

For our family, it means that we have The Jesus Room in our house. We've had this room for 18 years now (and we often have 2 now). But when this young woman walked into our life, we were in the first few years of providing this sacred space of refuge. The room was freshly painted with a soft blue sky that gently cascaded over a chair rail border of white lounge chairs. Below the chairs a beige color circled about creating a landscape of inviting sand. The scene, chosen intentionally, beckoned sojourners to walk restfully beside the Savior and release their heavy cares and burdens. It was into this room that we invited people to find rest, healing, hope, restoration, and redemption. And it was in this room that the embrace of Jesus found its way around this woman's heart as she gained her footing and figured out her next step.

Our Jesus Room does not provide an abundance of expressed gratitude. Oftentimes we've known the dishonesty of guests. We've understood the meaning of ingratitude from those still incapable of seeing, let alone reaching, beyond themselves. It's cost us money we did not have to give. It's cost us time we could have spent on ourselves....on our comfort...our leisure.

But when I think of my Savior, with nowhere to lay His head (see Matt 8:20), or Who when seeking  rest would see the needs of others and be so moved with compassion that He'd engage their deepest heart cries once again (see Mark 6:30-34), I find it difficult to focus so much energy on living a life that costs me so little....or almost nothing.

When that young woman left our home, her life was still very messy and she was still not as teachable as we would have hoped. During her time with us we'd struggled to figure out how to embody lavish love, heartfelt forgiveness, and wisdom, while inviting genuine ownership for decisions made. It was a delicate dance on an oftentimes crumbling dance floor. But...we did it...not perfectly...but we did it.

This blog post comes now, 10 or more years after our lives intersected, because this young woman recently wrote me a note. To say I was shocked is an understatement. The letter came just days after we'd moved a Chinese Mom and her daughter out of one of our Jesus Rooms. I was at a place of reflection and God used this note to inspire me and remind me that the life He has called me to live...our family to live...is not an extraordinary life. It is the Christian life...it is simply a continuation of His life...

And so I invite you to reflect...How are you continuing His life? I truly hope that the life that you are living is costing you something wondrous...and that you realize that a life lived for Him is not extraordinary...it is the beautiful ordinary...the beautiful ordinary of the Christ follower.

Extra Note: I've put her letter below in case knowing what she said would provide encouragement to anyone needing to be reminded of the beauty behind..."So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. 10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith" (Galatians 6:9-10).

Evie- 

I'm not sure you remember me, but my daughter and I stayed with you for a little while. I was sorta a mess then and I'm not sure I ever said thank you. I'm also not sure words can express how grateful I am for the influence you had in my life. Because of your influence, I have an amazing husband who loves The Lord above all, I have a career, I am a 6th grade youth leader and sit on a board of directors that helps young pregnant girls with no where to go. I learned from you a passion for God and a love for people. I have found a joy for serving others. I'm so sorry it took this long to express my gratitude, but if you wonder if you ever make a difference, you do! I'm proof. 

Ever so grateful,

Some Things Never Change...

In March of 1988 I asked Jesus to be my Savior. In July of 1988 I vacationed with my family in Frankfort MI. I was a brand new believer...had little sense of what it meant to have Christian friends or to be a part of God's family. I knew that I really wanted to attend church while on vacation, so I looked in the phone book (yep we did that back then) for a Bible Church. I was so excited to find one nearby! I made my way to worship on Sunday and found myself driving down an old country road and then standing in front of a teeny tiny wooden church! As I entered, I met people who were so full of love! They took me in as if they'd been waiting for my arrival for years! Pastor Dan became my first Pastor and Betty provided an introduction to the concept of an older woman mentor. The people genuinely enjoyed my excitement for the Lord and appreciated the hearty AMEN's that I let ring out...and oh how they reverberated off of the walls and filled up that tiny little church! Some of the members faithfully picked me up for Sunday night service, Wednesday night service, and any special event happening during the week. I LOVED my summer with them!

Imagine my delight when I visited again...in 2014! Though the tiny little church was gone, so much else had remained exactly the same. And the most important thing that hadn't changed...the thing that mattered most to me...was that the few people remaining whom I'd known all those years ago, STILL loved Jesus with a great passion and zeal! Though Pastor Dan is nearing retirement, he still came from around that pulpit, got up close, and spoke to us emphatically about our need to focus on JESUS and live for Him! Betty, though having experienced many trials, was still filled with praise for our God and an unshakable trust in Him! And in my time of reconnecting with Pastor Dan he said, "Through the years there are some people who come into your life of ministry and you never forget them. You, Evie, are one of those people. I can never forget the excitement that you brought to this place...the life you brought was something that made a difference here. It's so good to see that you have not lost that joy and that passion for our Lord. I can still see it." 
As I drove away, joy filling my soul, tears welling up in my eyes, I paused to give thanks to my God. There truly is no more fulfilling life then one lived fully and completely for Jesus! Can I get an Amen fellow Masterpieces? Don't you want to look back over your life, wade through a sea of beautiful memories, and find yourself swimming endlessly in all of the ways that God graciously chose to use you for His glory in His world? You have immeasurable purpose and value as His child! May you be known as one who never changes...never changes in your love, joy and passion for Jesus! He's worth it!! 

Tears on a Journal Page...

My eyes filled with tears as I read through the pages of an old journal. It was like finding a sacred and forgotten love letter. The sentiments on the page were so personal… written about me during a difficult season of life. I'd taken a moment to pause, on a February day in 2011, to pen the words that God had spoken over me… and they were beautiful.

Why tears… such emotion? I had to ask the question so as not to assume an understanding of my reaction. And in the silence of introspection, the simplicity of meaning surfaced; Gods conferring of value over me…that He thinks well of me… it truly matters. In a world full of accolades, invoked primarily via accomplishment, God's bestowing of intrinsic value provides  soothing balm for a weary soul. 

So I am so thankful for that day...for that day when the God of the universe, Who called me by name...saw this weary and insecure child. He found me there...wandering in the muck and mire...and reached out with His words of love. The gift of His words...His beautiful reminder of my value...set my feet to dancing once again. And it is comforting to know, that should the music in my head seek to play a disparaging tune, the Master conductor will once again sing a new song over me...

The Framed Masterpiece...

On the pane of this door frame I've written out "I am God's Masterpiece" Eph 2:10. Elizabeth and I pause here to remind ourselves of this truth. It is an important truth that I seek to let guide my language at home and out in the community. When we, as women, say things such as, "I hate my hair." or "I need to lose about 10 pounds...look at my hips." or "I wish my eyes were a different color." or "I don't like my nose." or "Seriously...I'd kill for HER hair." or any other comment that degrades the beautiful creation that God fashioned us to be, we need to remember that there are people listening...people who are effected by our words. Some of those people are young...very young...and they are impressionable. They will learn to view themselves through our lens...the lens that says "I'm not good enough...unless." There are also our beloved sisters...women who really struggle with the image they have of themselves...and when we put ourselves down it makes it even more difficult for them to believe that they are beautiful...

As I encourage myself to embrace the beauty that God has given me, may you also attempt to live a life of contentment who you are. Instead of spending our time finding our flaws...which is the road of least resistance...let's spend our time celebrating the amazing creations that God has fashioned in His image...uniquely designed with our looks, gifts, talents and personality...that we might shine like stars and fulfill His purpose for our lives...

Pity Party Fashion...

     Let me just be brutally honest about the shallowness of my soul at times. The other day I was having a serious fashion feel sorry for myself party…sorry you weren’t invited! After all, about 6 months before graduating from Fuller I partook of a Cam and Cate Wardrobe edit (think “What Not to Wear”) that I’d won at an anti-sex trafficking auction.

     Why talk about this? Because as most of you know I am a new Mom…and not just a new Mom, but a new Mom with a severely sprained ankle who has been house bound for nearly 3 months. You can imagine my wardrobe…work out pants (the ones you don’t mind getting pee all over), old t-shirts (or should I call them drool bibs), an ugly black boot for the injured foot complimented by a boring tennis shoe for the good foot. 

     As I lay there with my pity party hat on, tooting my feeling blue horn, God graced the party with His presence. Have you ever noticed that rarely can you stay in a posture of pity when you belong to God? I incredibly appreciate that the Lord is quick to speak to my sinfulness and give me a glorious new perspective that allows me to move out of a negative place. 

     What is also so beautiful is when He takes a verse of Scripture that you know well, and gives it fresh meaning for the current situation. This is just what He did with Colossians 3:12…

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, 

holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with

 compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

I began to imagine how beautiful I would look if I took seriously the invitation to awake daily and pray myself into the Col 3:12 wardrobe. Even the drooliest of drool shirts would compliment it well! 

     As I meditated on this verse, God refocused my perspective. Someday I will be out of bed and on my feet. And months from now, when Elizabeth is no longer drooling, I may even be able to wear some of those fashionable clothes. But now…right now…I can dress my heart in a way that shapes me internally and therefore externally. 

     So, I am committing to being a woman who clothes herself in a Colossians 3:12 wardrobe because it honors God. But also because I am a Mom now. I want Elizabeth to grow up and dress just like me…and Col 3:12 will ensure that she is always beautifully in style!

If You'd Have Just Been There...

“When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” ~ John 11:32

In John 11, we read the story of Lazarus. It is one I return to when the only words I can seem to muster in prayer are “Lord, if you had only been there”. Have you ever felt that way? Emotions are raw, feelings seem overwhelming and Jesus seems to be….nowhere near.

I think the hardest part of the story for me is that Mary and Martha really counted on Jesus’ feelings for and close relationship with their brother to compel Him to action… “So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick”. Yet, Jesus did not come near when He got word.

As I’ve thought and prayed for Bailey and her tremendous loss and grief in being separated from her birth child, Elizabeth, or Katie and the sorrow she endures having a second parent diagnosed with cancer, or the many of you who have written me telling of burdens that feel completely overbearing, I’ve wondered… “Lord, when will you really come near?” I pray for peace, for strength, for courage, for joy, for hope…and apparently nothing changes. Sometimes it can be incredibly discouraging and even frustrating. It is difficult when God seems to wait.

I can visualize Mary and Martha praying and waiting, praying and waiting…and waiting…and waiting. We are no different then these women of God. Every day we are confronted with the reality of praying, and waiting, and wondering, “when will Jesus come near?” We know He answers prayer, and that He promises that He is with us always. We know that the truth is that He loves us and has a good plan for our lives. Knowing these truths, I believe I am left with this challenge and ultimate invitation from the Lord; to whole heartedly trust Him and His timing even when it does not make sense. I can only imagine that when Lazarus died, Mary and Martha wondered about Jesus’ timing!

Know this…I do not wonder hypothetically. I currently reside in a very difficult season of life. I hold a precious little girl in my arms every day that someone is fighting to take away. I have to go to court appearance after court appearance and pay an excessive amount of money to wage a battle that seems completely unjust. Yet I know I am not alone. I know most of you can understand. So, what is your difficult season? What are you praying about and feeling as if you are waiting, and waiting, and waiting…?

During my difficult season of waiting, I have learned to trust the God who comes near…according to His perfect timing. He has answered prayer and shown up just when He would receive the most glory. Just when He knew I would be able to recognize and celebrate that it was Him, despite all of the chaos going on around me. It has been truly faith building for me, as well as others who are walking this difficult road with me.

So like Mary and Martha I need to feel the freedom to say, “Lord this one (me) whom you love is (hurting, discouraged, living in hopelessness, feeling alone, struggling with depression, feeling betrayed, struggling within a relationship…” and trust that He will come near…according to when He will receive the most glory. Imagine the difference and diminished power within the Lazarus story if Jesus had arrived quickly, healed him of his fever and moved on!

Our earthly life stories are beautifully woven together by the God of Heaven Who knows us by name and has every hair on our heads numbered. He may not choose to answer, in a way we understand, the moment our prayer is uttered. However, that does not mean that He is not working or that He is not near. He is waiting for us to trust…to trust that He will act in a way that will show Him to be the God who we need to understand more deeply and the God who uses our lives and difficult circumstances to bring Him glory.

Our God knows that we will struggle to live in “If You had only been here…”. Today, let’s choose to believe that when we send for Him through our heart felt prayers, that He not only hears us, but that He can be trusted to work in and for us so that our lives are a glorious testimony of His perfect will in the lives of “the ones whom He loves”.  

Sitting Beside Death...

She was beautiful, wealthy, famous, talented...all those things that make this life seem so incredible. She had everything she could have wanted...men, glamor, possessions...or did she? 

Death has a way of opening up our souls to what matters. It is the presence not often spoken of...yet ever present in our lives...waiting....

The deathbed is a place where few want to be alone. There is a great human desire to be surrounded by those closest to us, speaking reassuring words of love and fond memories. For Elizabeth, her final moments were spent like any other who is looking to pass from this life to the next...surrounded by family and friends. 

So what makes her passing worth mentioning, besides the fact that she holds an iconic place in history as a celebrity goddess? It is her own words, spoken in her final days that should capture our attention. Days before she passed she spoke to a close friend and expressed her fears about facing the end of her life. She wondered how to pass onto the next life. 

Death can be scary for anyone...and sometimes I think we forget to think about the fact that death is real...and inevitable.

So in those final moments, what do you give someone who has everything...talent, possessions, money, fame? I would offer them peace. I don’t know how else to extend peace to someone without offering them Jesus. 

If I would have been able to sit at her bedside in those final moments, I would have gently and humbly offered her the answer for her searching question. I would have spoken truth and peace over her fears, and the comforting words of reassurance that there is a Person that carries us from this life to the next life....

As you think about your life...however old you are...do you have this peace? Are you ready for death to look you in the face, or sit closely beside those you love...and not wonder how to pass from this life to the next? Do you have the answers that bring peace, comfort, and that dispel fear?

My prayer is that you know Jesus as the One who laid down His life for you...not just as a man on a cross or an idea to talk about. And I hope that you have the compassion to sit beside those who have death sitting on their other side. 

Everyone you meet is someone who will meet death...and Jesus. May we introduce them to Jesus first!

Things to ponder...

1. Do I know 100% that I have a relationship with Jesus that gives me a life worth living here and offers hope for the life to come?
2. If I do know Jesus, am I willing to pray consistently for several people who I know do not know Jesus?
3. Will I pray that God would give me some great opportunities to talk about my own relationship with Him so that others can see that He is real?
4. Am I willing to pray that God will use me to share the truth about Jesus being the One who gives us a life worth living on earth and the One who will greet us with great arms of love in the life to come?

If you are questioning your relationship with Jesus, will you please write me and let me know how I can journey with you through your questions. God is not afraid of our questions and confusion. He welcomes us into His presence to work things out and hash through the really tough stuff! He loves you...<3

Hiding from my past...

If they really knew me they wouldn’t like me...

How many times have I thought that to myself...too many to count I’m sorry to admit. Over the years I’ve often wondered, “if people really knew all of me would they still like me?” 

I am inspired by people who don’t seem to mind what others think about them. It is especially encouraging to watch someone transform from being dishonest about who they are to being genuine and raw. I think vulnerability with those God calls us to impact is necessary...and exciting....even if it does make me a tad bit nervous!!

I know of an amazing woman whose encounter with Jesus gave her the ability to be genuine for the first time. In reading her story I was inspired by her willingness to be vulnerable and real...for the work of the Kingdom.

Who is she....? She’s the woman at the well in John 4. The one we know the story about oh so well. Sometimes when I know a story well I try to see it from a different angle. Her story has an edge that I had not seen before. I hope maybe a fresh peek into her transformation will encourage you on your journey toward embracing your story, being genuine, and letting God use you for His Kingdom work.

It all begins with her encounter with Jesus right? We clearly see she is not honest. When He asks her to go call her husband she says, “I don’t have a husband”...really..end of story? oh no...she chooses to omit a fairly important part of the answer... “but I am shacking up with a guy”. Jesus so calls her out on it doesn’t He? We know Jesus...He wasn’t cruel or demeaning, but He certainly was all about getting the truth right out in the open! He knew she could not experience true freedom while hiding behind that half truth.

So how do we know that her encounter with Him made any difference? It’s one of the main reasons I admire this woman; she is willing to tell her story....and it’s not a pretty one. Think about it, she leaves her water jar and goes into the village and starts announcing, “come see a man who told me everything I’ve ever done.” Really? Everything? Apparently so! I’m sure those villagers knew or had a fairly good idea about just how “immoral” this woman was. They would have seen the men coming and going. Yet somehow she wasn’t afraid to talk about her past. Somehow she knew that entrusting herself to the community who had known her only from a distance would help others see Jesus.

But it doesn’t just stop there. Her vulnerability and willingness to be real allowed Jesus to speak into the lives of many of those villagers. What does the text say? After they believed what the woman shared, the Samaritans came to Jesus and asked Him to hang with them for a few days. Then, the people shared that they didn’t just believe because of what the woman had said, but because of what Jesus had said. 

So, let’s not get hung up on covering up our failures. Let’s not worry so much about people not liking us because we are not perfect. The next time you are concerned that your mess ups will ruin any chances of being used for God’s Kingdom...remember this powerful story. He takes it all...even the vilest sins we commit...and makes them a part of His beautiful story of forgiveness and restoration. The people in her community listened to her initially because she was willing to embrace her sordid story...and be genuine. Through her act of vulnerability she peaked other people’s interest in Jesus. She opened the door for Him to speak!

You are beautifully broken...and oh so usable by the shepherd of your soul. He is the potter and you are His clay. You are likable...lovable...on every step of your transformational journey with Jesus.

Make it personal:

• What part of your past do you hide from?
• What are you afraid to face or take an honest look at?
• Do you honestly believe that your past mistakes keep you from being used by God?
• Are you willing to find some friends and be real about your struggles?
• Will you start to believe and have hope for the wondrous future God has in store for you?