“When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” ~ John 11:32
In John 11, we read the story of Lazarus. It is one I return to when the only words I can seem to muster in prayer are “Lord, if you had only been there”. Have you ever felt that way? Emotions are raw, feelings seem overwhelming and Jesus seems to be….nowhere near.
I think the hardest part of the story for me is that Mary and Martha really counted on Jesus’ feelings for and close relationship with their brother to compel Him to action… “So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick”. Yet, Jesus did not come near when He got word.
As I’ve thought and prayed for Bailey and her tremendous loss and grief in being separated from her birth child, Elizabeth, or Katie and the sorrow she endures having a second parent diagnosed with cancer, or the many of you who have written me telling of burdens that feel completely overbearing, I’ve wondered… “Lord, when will you really come near?” I pray for peace, for strength, for courage, for joy, for hope…and apparently nothing changes. Sometimes it can be incredibly discouraging and even frustrating. It is difficult when God seems to wait.
I can visualize Mary and Martha praying and waiting, praying and waiting…and waiting…and waiting. We are no different then these women of God. Every day we are confronted with the reality of praying, and waiting, and wondering, “when will Jesus come near?” We know He answers prayer, and that He promises that He is with us always. We know that the truth is that He loves us and has a good plan for our lives. Knowing these truths, I believe I am left with this challenge and ultimate invitation from the Lord; to whole heartedly trust Him and His timing even when it does not make sense. I can only imagine that when Lazarus died, Mary and Martha wondered about Jesus’ timing!
Know this…I do not wonder hypothetically. I currently reside in a very difficult season of life. I hold a precious little girl in my arms every day that someone is fighting to take away. I have to go to court appearance after court appearance and pay an excessive amount of money to wage a battle that seems completely unjust. Yet I know I am not alone. I know most of you can understand. So, what is your difficult season? What are you praying about and feeling as if you are waiting, and waiting, and waiting…?
During my difficult season of waiting, I have learned to trust the God who comes near…according to His perfect timing. He has answered prayer and shown up just when He would receive the most glory. Just when He knew I would be able to recognize and celebrate that it was Him, despite all of the chaos going on around me. It has been truly faith building for me, as well as others who are walking this difficult road with me.
So like Mary and Martha I need to feel the freedom to say, “Lord this one (me) whom you love is (hurting, discouraged, living in hopelessness, feeling alone, struggling with depression, feeling betrayed, struggling within a relationship…” and trust that He will come near…according to when He will receive the most glory. Imagine the difference and diminished power within the Lazarus story if Jesus had arrived quickly, healed him of his fever and moved on!
Our earthly life stories are beautifully woven together by the God of Heaven Who knows us by name and has every hair on our heads numbered. He may not choose to answer, in a way we understand, the moment our prayer is uttered. However, that does not mean that He is not working or that He is not near. He is waiting for us to trust…to trust that He will act in a way that will show Him to be the God who we need to understand more deeply and the God who uses our lives and difficult circumstances to bring Him glory.
Our God knows that we will struggle to live in “If You had only been here…”. Today, let’s choose to believe that when we send for Him through our heart felt prayers, that He not only hears us, but that He can be trusted to work in and for us so that our lives are a glorious testimony of His perfect will in the lives of “the ones whom He loves”.
