March 28, 2017.
The day I turn 50.
For the past several months I’ve found myself in a perpetually reflective state. The question primarily on my mind; has my life made a significant impact for the Kingdom?
Milestone birthdays. They give us reason to pause and survey the years of our life. I remember turning 40. I still felt so young and vibrant because of my involvement in full time youth ministry. My birthday celebration was a festive disco party, complete with 80’s music and attire from my high school years. My favorite people in attendance. Teenagers. We danced. And I...yes I...was the solid gold dancing queen.
Life is different at 50. I am different. And though I am still amazingly fun, the forever dancing diva, there will be no over the top party this year. No crazy festivities. And strangely, 10 years ago that is exactly what I’d envisioned.
It is typical to receive presents. Even to request special gifts on milestone birthdays. I’ve thought about what I’d want. Things I don’t normally get to do are appealing. Pedicure. Manicure. Eyebrows waxed. Facial. iTunes gift cards. Getting my house cleaned. Eating out at a really expensive and classy restaurant overlooking the ocean. Flowers. Money to go shopping for some new clothes that are currently in fashion. A romantic cruise. Renting a red Maserati and driving along the coast.
I would be grateful for any and all gifts. Yet none of these gifts speak to the deepest yearning of my heart. At 50, the greatest gift answers my greatest heart’s desire.
To know that my life has been spent well for the Lord.
As I look back over the past 29 years, the years I’ve journeyed as a follower of Jesus, I long to see a pathway beautifully marked with changed lives. People who believe in Jesus. Those who have felt lavishly loved and accepted in various seasons. People I’ve mentored. Those who now willingly embrace and live out their unique purpose and calling.
Many questions. Many prayers. Oh Lord, have I truly lived my life well? Have I used the years that you’ve given me thus far to accomplish those things that You planned long ago? Those Ephesians 2:10 Masterpiece works? Have people seen Jesus in me? Have they felt His love? Known His forgiveness and embrace? Understood His acceptance? Have I helped people embrace their unique gifting? Set them free to change the world for you?
I received an early birthday present. It arrived in the form of a letter. It was from a young man in our former youth ministry. He thanked me for my investment in his life. He told me of the influence of my passion for the Lord, contagious faith and welcoming love for him. He expressed how I had helped shape the life he lives today. That young man is headed to the mission field. He will leave a footprint in India that will leave it forever changed. My heart is overflowing with joy.
And while the letter came from this young man, I knew it was truly a gift from God. The sentiments expressed answered the ponderings of my heart. Words on a page woven sacredly together within my intimate conversations with my God.
I have made mistakes. I have some regrets. There are definitely moments I would love to erase. Words I wish had been left unsaid. And yet, as I’ve reflected on my life, the affirmation of God has clearly been evident. I have known the joy of His delight in me.
I can look over the pathway of my life and see a myriad of faces.
People who God has asked me to love.
People who needed to know the Truth about Jesus, themselves, and their reason for being.
I see tears. Laughter. Sacred conversations.
Time passes quickly.
Yet we rarely speak that reflectively...contemplatively...until our latter season is upon us.
It seems like just yesterday I was turning 21 and surrendering my life to Jesus. It was such an exciting time. I could not have imagined all that God intended to do in and through me. I just knew that I wanted to make a huge impact for His glory. I wanted to love Him and love people with every single day of my life.
This may not be the year you turn 50. It may not be a milestone birthday year. Yet I hope that this writing will cause a momentary pause for pondering your life.
Every day we have choices. Choices for how we will spend our time and our resources. May I encourage you? Live well. Live in such a way that you will have few regrets.
And I promise you, there is one thing you will never regret...
loving God and loving people.
This earthly life is but a vapor compared to eternity.
Store up memories that help you revel in who God has made you. Create moments that allow you to experience life as God intended it to be. Live life on purpose and with purpose.
Be the masterpiece God created you to be.
Sit within His lavish love. Walk in those good works.
You are His beloved. And your life matters. Every. Single. Moment.
